Title for the Week 10 Power Rankings during Week 11
Yeah yeah yeah, I know I just fucking emailed all of you earlier this week. It's just that skipping out on two straight weeks of power rankings left me in a state of near giving a shit.
So with this building guilt, I set upon sculpting my content. Applying some brain matter here, perhaps an empty joke that won't land there, massage a tender message of sensible empathy.
To top it off, I'll get some nice vinegary scent from the ol' taint and give it one last swipe before clicking Publish and releasing yet another steamy pile of shitwords into the glorious Ether like flushing a thicc mud monkey onto the train tracks via some Eastern European InterCity Express train toilet.
So welcome one, welcome all. We're doing this twice in one fuckin week.
Jimi Hendrix ($18,000)
1. Shelbyville Shelbyvillian
I frankly have no idea what the fuck I'm even doing. 100% to make playoffs? Shit man, I've only made it to the playoffs maybe 4 times across several leagues over 8-10+ years. I won a championship in one league .. but have never topped 9 wins in a regular season before.
This shit is pretty fun.
Joan Baez ($10,000)
2. San Diego Loud-N-Stroud
Gotta give a shoutout and congratulate someone hitting their 7th win. During a six-game winning streak. I should be scared, but I'm more confused and gassy at the moment.
Creedence Clearwater Revival ($10,000)
3. It's a Tide Ad
Oooooo-weee, a two-game win streak has you as the top 6-4 team. Pts For be damned (for now).
The Band ($7,500)
4. I'm Thinkin' RBs
This dude is all over the place, but for week 10 he righted the ship.
Janis Joplin ($7,500)
5. The Koi Pond
GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER.
Jefferson Airplane ($7,500)
6. Everywhere Roll Tide
Tough beat has you on a two-game losing streak, but you're well within playoff striking distance.
Sly and the Family Stone ($7,500)
7. The Super Wicked Problems
So the problem you have that Roll Tide don't have: you need to pump up those Pts For numbers. You only gonna get your heart broken by that tiebreaker.
Canned Heat ($6,500)
8. Soft Tissue Fake Smallpox
OH FUCK YEAH. My man is on a two-game win streak and like, a 20-game winning name streak . KEEP THAT SHIT ROLLIN DOWNHILL.
The Who ($6,250)
9. Deep Tissue Illuminati
Not the best, not the worst. But at 1% it's gonna take like, seven or eight plane crashes to get into the postseason.
Richie Havens ($6,000)
10. Sunstroke Serenaders
Lookie here at this purty little one-game win streak. Sure, you ain't no playoff chance have, but fuck it, LET'S SPOIL SOME SEASONS.
Arlo Guthrie ($5,000)
11. Australian SteveIrwins
A three-game losing streak has you all but knocked from postseason contention. Absolutely fucking brutal, although you already knew this since it's something like Friday or Saturday over there in Cuntington Mateshire.
Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young ($5,000)
12. That's a Paddlin'
Well. Over here in Vespucci Land
H/M:
- Ravi Shankar ($4,500)
- Grateful Dead ($2,250)
- Sha Na Na ($700)
Source of the figures (it's how much they were paid to play Woodstock)
