I'm a stupid title with an ugly face and big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt

WHIRLIE KERP

Oh shit, argentina won. wowzers n shit. Anyway, here's a video,

What? It's a video. And fuck off, I know it was like.. a couple weeks ago.

Shout out to Colleen Wolfe

Only one without gloves! Fuckin Carolina Panthers, Jacksonville Jaguars, and what fuckin San Francisco? A little in Seattle? These fuckers don't know cold I guess.

That Colleen, with the boss move of raw dogging that cold mic, she's established herself as the only alpha at that table. Exactly what she needs to do to keep control of the situation from the ramblings of concussed has-beens.

NFL GAMEDOM

49ers at Rainland

Kittle and Big Crock Bock really got at it on Thursday. Motherfuckers partied down and lit up them Seapigeons. That said, 13 to 21? I thought it'd be some kind of fuckin blowout or some shit.

Ahh well, I'm sure those Purdverts out there are psyched.

Lolts at Yikes

What the fuck was this game. Holy shit. I thought Saturdaddy would have been able to play up to his day and hold onto a fucking 33 to zero lead. Seriously. What the fuck happened? What did he even say during halftime??

That poor fucking Matt Ryan. You know he has one of them monkey paws and wished people would just fucking forget about 28-3.

Just incredible shit.

Frank Reich punchin air still.

Baldimore Orioles vs Sexual Assault Havers

Yo. This game sucked. So fuckin boring.

And we came in after the first quarter. Those motherfuckers blacked that shit out during the end of the other game. I would have loved to put that shit on the second screen. Fucking horseshit.

At least all of America could see that Greg Roman is one of the worst possible coordinators in football. Holy shit. Those running backs were running roughshod (whatever the fuck that shit means) but end up heavy on Huntley? AMERICA WANTS MORE. WE WANT BETTER.

Squished Fish vs. Bill's

Yo. Fuck the Dolphins.

Also, holy shit Josh Allen. 300+ yards, 4 tiddies, and no picks. God damn what a performance.

The timing of the snow was just the icing on the cake. Perfect. That god damn Lake Erie effect coming in hot.

Failcons vs. Aint's

Saints/Falcons all-time rivalry is now tied: 54 to 54.

Steeeeeers at Pound Kitties

I dunno, seemed lke he was just bein stupid and tried sayin' hi to a friend. I can't believe he was busted for treason with it. Steelers should probably cut him since they're most likely have him executed by the state.

Iggles at Brrs

Jalen got hurt, so that sucks for iggle fans.

And god damn, bears almost had this one. Justin Fields is so fuckin good at running that ball. Throwing it? He's just chuckin ducks up there. Kinda blows that a soon to be multi-millionaire, professional quarterback, doesn't have the basic motions to toss a good ball.

Unforgivable.jpg

Chefs at Tejans

It would appear. That the Texans. Can play football.

I do enjoy the fact that no matter how well the Texans play, eventually they remember they're the fucking Texans and just fuck their own shit up royally and just lose.

And holy shit, Mahomes was 36/41. Ended the game with like 20 or 21 straight completions.

Lawlboys vs. God Hates Jags

The Jaguars are fun to watch.

It's like a guy with a small dick who knows how to use it. He has heart. He makes up for his lack of size with an unwavering commitment to giving it his all with every stroke. But really he has a lot of girth. You never think about the girth. His dick was never small. It's thick. And that helps more than anything.

The Jaguars are thick. Cowboys have been use to giving their girl the long dick. They got too confident, you ain’t OG Mudbone baby. Tonight your girl was feeling adventurous. She fucked with a man with some thickness. Girth Brooks. The dark horse of cocks. Your girl was tired of getting that deep dick. She wanted to be stretched & filled. Don’t ever underestimate how girth can make your girl feel.

Thank you Jaguars for teaching a valuable lesson.

Loins at NJ

The Lions are fuckin .500 holy shit. Good for them.

(probably should watch on a desktop/wider screen)

Now let's cut to Mike White again,,

Cards vs. Donkeys

Huh. Broncos got four wins.

Good for them.

Greatriots vs. Daaaaa RRRrrrrraaiderrrrs

Maaan. What the fuck was that shit!?

I'm sure all of you have heard all the fuckin clever variations of the stupid name they've giv-.

You know what, it's late on Tuesday and I got shit to do tomorrow. I'll get to doing the recaps and hopefully get that done quick.

OK! I'm all set with the recaps. Let's get at this shit.

Oh man, this game? Fuck.

Hah.

What a fuckin loosah.

Tittians vs. Charge

I guess Chargers want into playoffs.

And with the loss, those dumbass Jaguars are closer and closer in Tennessee's rearview. Gotta watch out for them 6'4" blonde quarterbacks.

Bengals vs. Tampa Brady

What the fuck happened here? Brady had like, a million touchdown lead. And despite losing to a second half beating ,, this was actually one of the Buccs' better games this season. Haha, that fuckin suuucks.

Gints vs. Commodes

So what's up here? A 40.5 point O/U that everyone is saying the refs fuckef up? I think it's just simpler to explain that refs are bad at their job. Or at least, a number of them are. But there's a type of job security that NFL officials get that most professionals must be jealous of.

Monday Night Football at Monday Night Football

Oh right. Packers beat the Rams in the biggest win of the week. That's right. 12 points. Biggest win.

Wow.

Recaps n shit

Welcome back, friends! You all better enjoy your stay, and don't complain. Or do. I guess you can, but it won't matter.

W - 206.58 (9-5) San Diego Loud-N-Stroud

L - 179.86 (8-6) I'm Thinkin' RBs

Damn, what started off as a real close matchup in week 14, turned ugly in week 15.

It didn't necessarily have to be this way - 94 fucking points is a valiant effort. Sure, Miles sanders choked big donkey dick, and Who saw Christian Watson and Stefon Diggs absolutely struggling to top 10 total points. But you left everything out on that field in an incredible showing.

An effort something Thinkin' RBs should be proud of.

But the victor, the Loud-N-Stroud got some fuckin awesome surprises from Cook and Mckinnon. Holy shit, that Jerick is a horse to ride right now, the motherfucker is absolutely shitting out points on the Chefs.

And of course, the bench was no slouch with two great showings by the WRs that should only make the next couple weeks all that much more interesting to pick rosters with.

W - 208.3 (9-5) It's a Tide Ad

L - 192.28 (11-3) Shelbyville Shelbyvillian

Ain't that some shit.

Absolutely thrash my way through the regular season, only to be fucked by some god damn Cousins.

I guess it's only poetic for it to happen to a Shelbyvillian. It's not our fault they're so attractive!

(I thank you for that reference, glorious commissioner)

But on a more serious note: Fuck this stupid hobby god damn fucking horse shit to lose what the fuck I can't fucking believe this bullshit. What the fuck, what a god damn kick in the cock, it's like getting a bunch of wet decayed and moldly shit from a bloated corpse waterboarding you while trying to understand why this bitch godess that is fantasy football decided that it was I who should lose.

Fuck. I love this hobby.

Everything was looking so fucking awesome with how awesome Kittle ended up being, and then Brock was just as good as he needed to be.

Then on Saturday, Kirk struggled so fucking mightily against Indy for so long. Tossing picks n shit. On top of that, Thielen wasn't doing shit either.

But we all know what the fuck happened: Fucking Cousins erupted for like 27 fantasy points in the second half of that stupid fucking game.

God damn you Saturdaddy. You mother fucker. You doomed me. You doomed all of us.

...[cough] OK. With that behind me, just wanted to congratulate It's a Tide Ad on a hard fought victory and really would like to wish them the best of luck in the next round.

That jerk.

Fin.

Oh shit. We've got two weeks and a championship to determine.

The fuck did I do last week? There wasn't a winner after one week so what? I guess maybe I can have a bracket by then. Jesus, what a late motherfucker this guy turned out to be.

Ahh well, can't win 'em all, or really after a couple attempts in a row. But that's cool, y'all are cool with it and I'll try to add something a little spicy to make it worthwhile. Right after that timezone poll result writeup. Any fuckin day now.

In the meantime, hope the rest of us who aren't in the fucking finals (FUCKING GOD DAMN IT SHIT) enjoy being a spectator.

And for all of yous: Enjoy the weekend! Whether you observe or just like to kick it during the holiday season, hope you make it the best one yet! Much love to all you fuckers, y'all's' appreciation for this shit makes it all worthwhile. And I don't give a shit how cheesy that sounds, it's the truth.

Happy Christmas and Merry Hanukkah! See you next week you crazy bastards!

Oh! And don't forget: if you're leaving out milk and cookies, don't you fuckin dare forget at least a shot of vodka for Rudolph. How else do you expect his nose to stay its reddest!?