2025
Post title
Sorry for bein so late with the column. Stupid god damn Amazon goes down and it keeps me from being able to do fucking do anything. I couldn't drink water, I couldn't watch any god damn TV, I couldn't cook anything on my grill,
recap
2025
The Power of Friendship
WE GOING IN DRY FOLKS, NO FOREPLAY THIS COLUMN, Broncos @ Jets OK. How are these games not starting an international incident? I'm so fucking happy I don't a shit about the London game at all whatsoever. Like, who the fuck gets up for this shit? I&
2025
Trying is the first step towards failure
Hey hey party people! So this week, fuck going over all the games - I ain't got that kind of time, so instead I'm going to just free-flow a bunch of garbage and still end up with some behemoth 1,500+ word shitshow of a column.
2025
Folks, when you're right 52% of the time you're wrong 48% of the time
Let's talk football. But first, time to get into the mood: Rainy City Bitch Pigeons @ Cards What in the doodoo-batter-splatter were those Cardinals Jerseys? Now, I consider myself a huge fan of a nice clean jersey, and those fuckers weren't clean whatsoever - by design.
2025
Is it week 4 already??
Oh shit, are you all still here? My bad, I guess I did say I'd be back after a couple weeks so here I am. Uhh, well you're definitely not going to get any sort of recap of NFL games like I've done in
week 1
A new season has entered the chat
Welcome welcome welcome! It's time to kick off the 2024 Fantasy Football Season and boy oh boy is this year going to be fucking full of exhausting surprises both on and off the football field. We've got a new kickoff rule that I don't
2023
Should have been dead on a Sunday morning banging my head
Welp. I was hoping that this Holiday column would be absolutely packed with news and memery from week 15 in the NFL, but unfortunately that piece of shit storm that hit the Northeast on Monday completely obliterated our internet and Comcast has done fuck-all to fix any of it.
2023
"jail isnt real," i assure myself as i close my eyes and ram the hallmark gift shop with my shitty bronco
NFL stuffs So like,,, I'm writing this as of approximately [checks watch] 6:41 am sooooooo... yeah. You ain't gettin' SHIT. Maybe next week when I have fewer matchups to cover. .. Oh who am I kidding, I can at least post a handful of bullshit
2023
Begun the Holiday Season Has
What am I thankful for? Well, first off I'd have to say all of you motherfuckers. For everyone who tirelessly clicks to open their email, and then clicks again to load the column, and then for those of you who go that extra mile and actually scroll through
2023
Happy Thanksgiving, my dudes
Happy turkey day everyone! It was kind of a wild week at work so I ain't got shit in regards to recaps for week 11 games. But I can't let y'all walk away empty-handed, so here's my best attempt. Ravens and
2023
Millennials always walking around like they rent the place
So I spent so much time coming up with these cryptic matchup titles, I kinda just didn't leave myself enough time to actually troll the information superhighway enough to steal memery and share it here. Which is probably for the best given that you've all probably
2023
Baby's first game
This past Sunday was a momentous occasion. No, not because the Greatriots righted the ship. No, not because I made any sort of shift in fantasy football. And definitely no, I wasn't anywhere the fuck near Munich for that fuckin game. It was mine and Rachel's