2025
Is it week 4 already??
Oh shit, are you all still here? My bad, I guess I did say I'd be back after a couple weeks so here I am. Uhh, well you're definitely not going to get any sort of recap of NFL games like I've done in
Joe
2025
Somehow, Joe has returned
Rachel, if this is you the don't worry - I'm not going to start my column back up again and totally disregard taking care of our house, working my job, and helping to raise our child. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Rest of league, helloooooo! Buckle up, buckaroos - the boy is back
week 1
A new season has entered the chat
Welcome welcome welcome! It's time to kick off the 2024 Fantasy Football Season and boy oh boy is this year going to be fucking full of exhausting surprises both on and off the football field. We've got a new kickoff rule that I don't
2023
When they became the Greatriots
I couldn't help it. I wish I could quit you, my link-aggregating habit, but there's just no way. With Belichick getting shit-canned by Robert "rub-n-tug" Kraft, and so many memories flowing back from those early 2000s, I had to post
2023
You might remember me from other columns like, "I haven't slept in days," "is there a chance the defense could bend," and "Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius"
TWO OH TWO FOUR I dunno about you fuckers, but I spent this New Year's Eve at home: Playing some Splendor. Drinking local brews (love me some Juice Bag). Eating home made pizza. And that's how I likes it. Not to say that I'm
2023
A holiday feast of microwaved dog poop, but with words
So many incredible games over so many days. It was pretty awesome. I caught most of the Thursday game which felt like it took place two weeks ago, and then a bunch of the Saturday games in between scrambling for last minute Christmas purchases and shit. Then came Saturday where
2023
Should have been dead on a Sunday morning banging my head
Welp. I was hoping that this Holiday column would be absolutely packed with news and memery from week 15 in the NFL, but unfortunately that piece of shit storm that hit the Northeast on Monday completely obliterated our internet and Comcast has done fuck-all to fix any of it.
2023
"jail isnt real," i assure myself as i close my eyes and ram the hallmark gift shop with my shitty bronco
NFL stuffs So like,,, I'm writing this as of approximately [checks watch] 6:41 am sooooooo... yeah. You ain't gettin' SHIT. Maybe next week when I have fewer matchups to cover. .. Oh who am I kidding, I can at least post a handful of bullshit
2023
I used to be with it once
Yeah so. This week's gonna be a little lean. While I don't have any league-wide memery to share, I do have specific targets of my ire: Deshaun vs. Burrow It was great watching how happy Joe was for Jake Browning, and I think that type
2023
Begun the Holiday Season Has
What am I thankful for? Well, first off I'd have to say all of you motherfuckers. For everyone who tirelessly clicks to open their email, and then clicks again to load the column, and then for those of you who go that extra mile and actually scroll through
2023
Happy Thanksgiving, my dudes
Happy turkey day everyone! It was kind of a wild week at work so I ain't got shit in regards to recaps for week 11 games. But I can't let y'all walk away empty-handed, so here's my best attempt. Ravens and
2023
Millennials always walking around like they rent the place
So I spent so much time coming up with these cryptic matchup titles, I kinda just didn't leave myself enough time to actually troll the information superhighway enough to steal memery and share it here. Which is probably for the best given that you've all probably